Jessie and Tim: I'm alive

Saturday, March 27, 2010

You know the phrase I'm alive and well? Well, I am alive, but lets not lie, i've been better... so I wouldn't go as far as to say well. This is a picture from a night before the surgery at my "last meal" as my family kept referring to it as.. I'm sure glad I stuffed myself at texas roadhouse because I barely ate anything for 3 days! And that is the last smile you will see for a while too, so here goes.

Surgery day we were told to be at the hospital at noon. by twelve ten I was in a room ready to go with an Iv dripping.. and then we waited and waited and waited had an emotional breakdown, and waited somemore and FINALLY at four thirty they took me back to the Or. That was the hardest thing having to wait for! Seriously so cruel. I was so nervous. But by the time I got to the Or I was strangely calm, and about three seconds later I was in a beautiful deep sleep.. But that is the last beautiful thing you will read here today. What comes next is the closest thing I can think of to Hell on earth.

When I woke up they pumped and pumped me full of morphine, but as soon as we left the recovery room that was over. My doctor doesn't believe in the pateints getting Iv pain meds for their hospital stay. So shortly after getting to my room, it started. The pain, they compare to natural childbirth on a good day. It was almost like contractions too, five minutes apart these intense spasms that I could barely breathe through, I bawled, and screamed and cried in 5 minute intervals almost the whole night. I had no idea that a person could live through pain like that. I wanted to die. I had those spasms for a day and a half.. they slowly got more and more manigable. they would give me shots in the hip of morphine, but it was so uncomfortable and bruised because your hips is all you can lay on. Thank goodness for Oral meds!

Here is me doing " the breathing machine" I kept getting a fever and they were worried about pneumonia, so I had to breathe into it ten times an hour. I guess I was so exhausted I fell asleep doing it here.

This is the first picture Tim took after surgery, he told me to smile, and I said, I am smiling.

All conked out. My sister in law gave me this little ducky, along with a little care package that helped her after she had a similar procedure done, and she told me to squeeze that duck when the pain got really bad, because it really helped her. And it did help I sqeezed him alot. She also gave me a norah jones soundtrack, and I listened to it the whole first night. It helped calm me. Thank you so much Amy! This pics for you!

sleepin in my room

And below was my first time walking. It was SO painful. But we would walk laps around the floor, and by the time I left I had walkee 44 Laps! A mile!

Leaving the hospital finally! I stayed for three days.

We're home! getting there wasn't easy. the car ride was Horrible, because every bump was so excruciating! And we live on a second floor of condo so I had to walk up a flight of stairs, and I bawled the whole way up.

above is a picture of my best friend! I had one at the hospital, but I didn't have one at home, and it is so incredibly painful to lower yourself down onto the toilet, and on wednesday early morning we had a bad scare. I woke up and thought I could do it on my own, but was in really bad pain, and I guess I passed out on my way down, and when Tim came in I was almost in the bathtub. My Mom says when she first saw me she was about to call 911. She says I looked like I was on my way out.. I was unresponsive, and my pupils covered my whole iris. I was so scared I was dying. They hauled me in onto my parents bed and took good care of me, and that afternoon they came home with this lovely.