Tonight I can't sleep.
 Tonight I am restless.
 But not for the usual reasons.I may be uncomfortable, and yes my back is killing me, But that is not what has my mind turning.
I feel so incredibly blessed .I laid in bed tonight next to my sweetheart as he slept soundly, I turned on my lamp to read and got side tracked looking at his face. I thought of his kind eyes, that almost twinkle when he laughs. The eyes I picture looking into in our childrens faces.  I watched him for several minutes as memories flooded my mind.

I kissed his cheek, and slid out of bed. Tears filled my eyes as I thought to myself  in amazement... He is mine. Not in a sense that one could own a person, or would want to. But in sense that our souls and hearts are bound together forever.

I remembered  The Things we've been through,  and continue to go through, the struggles we've shared.
The let downs we've faced,  The chaos of the last couple of months as I lay here helpless and scared. Yet every time i've needed a shoulder to cry on he's been there, he holds me tight, and reassures me that everything will be alright. Sometimes that is all you need to continue to fight.

We have found such  joy  in one another, The late night talks, the laughter, the dates, the teasing, and through it all, my love for him grows deeper and deeper.

 I am truely amazed that We found eachother. I think about the size of this world, and the chances of finding one person who is so perfectly intended for you, who challenges you to be better, and who makes
your life so complete.. And I could never deny the Lords hand in bringing us together, and continuing to bless us in our marriage. I feel such gratitude  when I think about all we have been blessed with.

We have gone through such trying circumstances. Circumstances that break up marriages everyday.
I've seen so many end for far more simple reasons and stressors.  We have been so exhausted and overwhelmed trying to start and run our  business, and learning how to communicate and juggle being husband and wife, yet business partners.

 We have gone through 2 back surgeries together, and almost three years of me not quite being myself due to the chronic pain and hopelessness that I felt. At times I felt so guilty for what he has had to endure on my behalf that I told him i'd understand if he wanted to walk away... to trade me in, for an unbroken woman. One who is healthy.  as I have felt unworthy of his love

Yet he has been so loving and understanding and kind through it all, when he could have been insensitive and angry for the sacrifices he has made on my behalf.

So even though we live simply..
We have a place to call home..
We have clothes on our backs..
Food in our cupboards..
And the greatest riches of all...
We have the gospel and the gift of being sealed
for time and all Eternity....
So Tonight,  my heart is very full.